ILLEGALLY Alive

Last week, I decided to open my very first personal savings bank account. The bank required me to submit three legal identification cards, a tax declaration certificate and a couple of photos. I had the last two requirements in hand. Unfortunately, I only had one identification card available--my office ID. I had my school ID with me too, but they don't accept it so it won't count. Too bad. But even if it did, I'd still need one more.

So here goes my issue:

Acquire two legal identification cards
--------------------------------------

           Key: BNKACCT-1
           URL: http://jira.napramirez.com/browse/BNKACCT-1
    Issue Type: Task
      Reporter: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
   Assigned To: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
      Priority: Minor

Apply for a driver's license or a passport.  You'll need your birth certificate for that.

Ok, I'm good with that. At last, I can drive my brother's car once I get a hold of my driver's license! Yay!

On the way to the LTO (Land Transportation Office), I realized that government offices are closed on weekends. Silly me. So off to the DFA's (Department of Foreign Affairs) passporting service I went instead. At least they were open that Saturday, but I had to wait in a very loooooong queue. I tried to play music in my head to kill time, but five grueling hours of waiting felt like half of my lifetime washing away. Geez, even when it was my turn, it took a long while before the clerk could actually attend to my business.

What a bother.

Bad luck struck even harder when the clerk lazily told me, "You'll have to return next time. Your birth certificate is not good enough for filing, I can't read some parts of it. Besides, we're nearing our closing time. Sorry."

WTF.

All those five hours wasted. It nearly drove me insane just sitting in one place waiting for the clerk to call my name, and he just ditched me like that? So I asked, "How can I fix this? I know I used this same birth certificate before, and it was considered valid that time." But he replied, "What more can I do? If I can't read it, I can't file it. Just get another one from the NSO (National Statistics Office)."

Daaang. Ok, I got his point. Five minutes. That's all he needed to drive away someone who waited for five hours.

I let the day pass. I was so mad, I had to sleep early and skip weekend tv.

DFA clerk updated BNKACCT-1:
----------------------------

Shoo!  Go get a valid birth certificate from NSO.

    Priority: Major  (was: Minor)

>Acquire two legal identification cards
>--------------------------------------
>
>           Key: BNKACCT-1
>           URL: http://jira.napramirez.com/browse/BNKACCT-1
>    Issue Type: Task
>      Reporter: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
>   Assigned To: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
>      Priority: Major
>
>Apply for a driver's license or a passport.  You'll need your birth certificate for that.

Later in the middle of the week, I phoned the NSO to ask them how to acquire a clear copy of my birth certificate. Then I narrated how my birth certificate got rejected at the time I was applying for a passport. They told me that the copy available in their files was the only copy they had. And it wasn't in their authority to ask for any other copy from where my birth certificate originated--the town hall of my hometown in Pampanga. In order to update NSO's copy of my birth certificate, I must personally go to Pampanga and ask for one.

Geez, this is gonna be troublesome.

NSO clerk updated BNKACCT-1:
----------------------------

You should go to your hometown and ask for your authentic birth certificate at the town hall.

    Priority: Critical  (was: Major)

>Acquire two legal identification cards
>--------------------------------------
>
>           Key: BNKACCT-1
>           URL: http://jira.napramirez.com/browse/BNKACCT-1
>    Issue Type: Task
>      Reporter: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
>   Assigned To: Napoleon Esmundo C. Ramirez
>      Priority: Critical
>
>Apply for a driver's license or a passport.  You'll need your birth certificate for that.

Seeing how things are at the moment, looks like I'm going into so much trouble just to open a bank account. LTO and DFA requires a NSO-certified copy of my birth certificate. However, NSO's copy doesn't seem valid so I have to update it with a new one. As for the new one, I have yet to acquire one from Pampanga.

Now, if I recall clearly, I lived my first 12 years there. After then I stayed in Laguna for the next 10 years or so. If nothing much changed since I left Pampanga, like the the town hall relocating or something unfortunate, then I have the chance to grab an authentic copy of my birth certificate. Otherwise, consider NSO's copy void and that leaves me without a birth certificate.

So my question now is, does that make me ILLEGALLY alive?